1. Rainy, windy and cool here. And the leaves, they are a turnin'. It's most definitely fall out there.
2. Three more cross country events before the end of the season. Guess that means we get to stand out in the rain, wind and cold... The coach of the high school team was at Kyler's last meet - and approached him about running with them next year. Kyler was pretty pleased to have caught his eye...
3. Reached my Lifetime membership at Weight Watchers last week. Which means as long as I stay within 2 pounds of my goal weight, I never have to pay again. This is why I joined - so I have built in accountability to stay at this weight...
4. Speaking of weight, I figured out my starting and ending BMI the other day. I went from 25 (the bottom of the unhealthy standard) to 21.9, which is smack dab in the middle of the healthy weight range. Proud of me.
5. Ethan got his retainer yesterday... his mouth is a little sore this morning, but the biggest challenge is getting him to just leave it alone. He keeps taking it out and putting it in... driving me crazy. I tried to help him realize his teacher isn't going to appreciate it if he's playing with it all day. We'll see how it goes today. He's got a little lisp as he figures out how to talk with it... already this morning I see huge improvements in his speech from last night.
6. Asia's on the road again this week. Week three in a row. Tired of that.
7. Reading Finding Our Way Again: The Return of the Ancient Practices by Brian McClaren right now. Good stuff. This is the first in a series of books about the ancient practices of Christianity... hoping to read them all. Looks like this one will be be next...
8. We had a nice quiet visit with my parents here over the weekend... didn't do anything spectacular, but we enjoyed having them here, just joining in with our crazy daily lives... I sure love them. Love watching the kids with them... sweet.
9. We made caramel apples Sunday. Wow, they're good. My favorite? Dipped in caramel, then rolled in chopped walnuts and mini chocolate chips. Oh my grief - SO delicious. I was a bad photographer and didn't take any pictures at all... but I promise, they were really pretty too (before we bit into them at least...)
10. Happy Tuesday, friends! Enjoy the colors outside your window today...

Our photographer has the sneak peek of our family photo shoot up:

Check them out and tell me what you think!
(If you click on them, they'll go to a larger version so you can see them better.)

First of all, what is wrong with us? Look at our pants! Notice the girl second from the left (whose name I miraculously remember almost 30 years later was Bonnie) and her cool little 'Jesus with children on his lap' viewfinder hanging proudly from her belt loop... It's a good thing her pants are almost up to her armpits or she'd never be able to view Jesus without taking the viewfinder off the beltloop. That Bonnie was a smart one.

This is roughly 1979... summer before 5th grade. I'm the bombshell on the right of the counselor, third from the right. Please do notice the awesome green see-through vinyl visor in my left hand.

What I remember most about this year at summer camp is that I was worried about how I was going to take care of my hair all by myself so I asked my mom to put it into pigtails before we went. Each morning, I would get up and take out one side of those piggy pig-pig tails and brush it out, then put the ponytail holder right back in, lickety split, before I took the other side of the pigtails out to brush and then re-restrain it. That way, my part would never get messed up or crooked. (I still have crooked part issues today, if you must know. I love to wear my hair in two braids but hardly ever do because it takes me so ding-dang long to get my part straight.)

But here's the real neat-o part of the story... because I was so worried about messing up my part, I went the whole week without showering. Because that would have required taking out BOTH pigtails at once. And then I'd have been doomed. Because apparently it was VERY important to me to wear pigtails the whole blessed week. This picture was taken the very last day of camp, by our parents who had driven four hours to pick us up and bring our stinky selves home. Obviously, I felt the freedom to let my pigtails out because I was headed home to the comfort of my own bed and my mommy who could help me get my part straight.

Of course, now, as I was typing, I just realized that I could very easily have taken out one side of the pigtails in the shower and washed it, then put the ponytail holder back in before I took out the other side to wash it. Much like my styling routine, I could have safely maintained the sanctity of my perfect part and had clean hair. There's a certain amount of wisdom that comes with being 39 that makes life so much easier, wouldn't you agree? From now on, whenever I'm determined to wear pigtails for a whole week, I'm going to employ the 'only wash half your head at a time whilst leaving the other half safely secured in it's perfectly straight-parted ponytail' technique.

But I was only ten. So of course, I couldn't have thought of that genius plan then... I was too busy coordinating my fashion wardrobe and pretending I didn't still play with Barbies.

Now, before we all go on to our Fridays, let's take a moment to wave to cutie-pie little Corey there on the other side of the counselor, third from the left. Isn't she just the skinniest miniest little sweetie? I'm so blessed to still be able to count her my best friend after all these years. She's been by my side both literally and figuratively for almost 35 years. Amazing. Even when I don't shower for a week.

Happy Friday, friends!

Been thinking lots lately about life. And where I sit in it.

I come from a long line of stability. Good people who were content to live simple lives and who settled in for the long haul. People who basically did the same thing year in and year out.

I grew up watching them. And assuming that my life would look similar to that. Get married - have kids - watch them grow - love on your grandbabies - cook lots of Thanksgiving meals and celebrate lots of Christmases surrounded by loved ones.

And here I am on the precipice of my 40's and I have no idea what I'm doing.

I'm leaving for Africa in six weeks, and I know I cannot come back and settle in for the long haul.

The long haul isn't going to be in my future, I don't think.

I think my heart has been awakened to other possibilities.

Does that mean my family is going to up and move to Africa? I don't think so. But I know this: I know that for the rest of my life I'm going to be torn between two places. And I hope that I can establish that kind of un-settledness in my kids as well... because that's really what life as a believer is all about, isn't it?

It all makes my heart long all the more for Christ to return.

Because heaven will be the place I am finally settled.

I just never imagined I would be sitting here at this stage of my life wondering what in the world God has for us next... and being open to all sorts of possibilities... As a child, I always assumed at this age I'd have my heels dug in deeply with the knowledge that options had passed me by years before - and that I'd be okay with that.

But instead, I'm in this weird place of acknowledging the normalcy of my present reality while I long for the new, unknown places God might be taking me.

I'm about to embark on something extraordinary. And then I get to come back and try to integrate extraordinary into ordinary. Not quite sure how I'm going to manage that...

It's a strange and wonderful place to be.

And that's what I'm pondering.

All my life, I thought the Neil Diamond song was "Reverend in Blue Jeans."

I always liked the thought of a nice pastor-y type who always wore his 501's.

How relate-able he must be... that's the kind of pastor I want...

Until last year during American Idol when Jason Castro sang it "Forever in Blue Jeans."

I asked Asia "Why do you think he changed the lyrics?"

Turns out he didn't. No reverend to be seen in the correct lyrics.

But my pastor does wear blue jeans almost every week, so I'm feeling okay about the whole thing.

(edited to add that I'm quite dismayed to find the moment at which the video had to end... have you ever seen such an unflattering pose, on anyone? Honestly? But I'm leaving it alone. It's just one short little frozen, ugly moment in my life - saved here for all eternity.)

I'm the tall ant with the pink shirt. My church put on a musical called "Antsylvania." It was actually the most fun I've had in a theater production, I think. It was a tiny church - but we had a lot of tal-ant.

Two of my three children have now thrown up in a car in the last five weeks.

You know how they say bad things come in threes?

I'm keeping a big plastic bag in the car from now on.

The kids and I grew sunflowers this year. We've grown them before, but it's been years... they're blooming in all their glory right now.

I love them.

5th grade.

I played the clarinet.

And apparently I was good.

Because I got to stand in the back of the band and play a duet with my friend Lana, who played the flute.

I also had some screamin' socks, which looked particularly good with my white cork heeled sandals.

And that A-line ruffled skirt? Wowza.

Fashion aside, what I really want to tell my fifth grade self is to stand up straight. Why am I hunched over so? I look like an old man...

(Watch for Flashback Friday on a more regular basis, because I just found time to go through old photo albums this week... and I scanned a bunch of winners like this one... Hooray for Flashback Friday!!!)

Drink it in.
The sunshine,
laughter,
family.

Embrace the people in your path
so that they leave your presence
with a smile.

Find the beauty in each moment
whether it's crazy busy
or quiet and serene.

Enjoy the youth
all around you.
Revel in their possibility.

Take a moment to relish
the blessings God has bestowed.

Cherish each day.
Sun up to sundown.

This is the day the Lord has made.

I will rejoice, and be glad in it.

I really couldn't ask for a more lovely day.

Between the gorgeous weather, a nice long walk with the dog, the three loads of laundry I've managed to get washed, on the line, and folded, and a delicious pasta salad on the patio for lunch, I'm just about as happy as a girl can get.

We had a lovely weekend as well. We got free passes to the Spokane Interstate Fair, which we used after I got off work Friday night. We had so much fun seeing all the animals, and letting the kids use the included ride passes on those lovely non-safety-regulated rides that always show up at the fair. I indulged in a caramel apple, which really only whetted my apetite for homemade ones. We simply must put that little activity on our fall schedule.

Saturday was sunny and warm - and we managed to fit in a full day of playdates, the farmer's market, a Costco run, and dinner out for Asia and I.

Yesterday we went to church and had our second week of small group. It went so well. I think it's going to be a great group... they're all so real - open and honest about their struggles and victories - and hopefully Asia and I can be an encouragement to them as they wade through their first years of marriage together. I love them all.

Two months from today I will be in Casablanca on my way to Sierra Leone. The trip doesn't seem very real to me yet, but I've begun the mental checklist of things I want to take along, people I need to contact to get letters to take to T., and which skirts and blouses will work well for the African bush...

Asia spent some time last week talking with Chris Clark, the founder and president of Children of the Nations about my trip, and our dream to go as a family... Chris' desire for the family trip is a little more than I was expecting - he would really like to see our family go in the summer and stay in Sierra Leone for at least two months. Which overwhelms and terrifies me all at once. While I see the value in that kind of longer term investment, the logistics of a trip like that just about push me over the edge. And of course, at the top of my list of concerns is the silly dog. Who would take care of Gracie if we were gone for two months?

Oh, it's overwhelming, all right. But exciting too, you know?

So while I sit here and let my heart drink in God's goodness, I also have to sit in the knowledge of His provision and His love and know that through Him, all things are possible.

Because frankly, two months in Africa, while it sounds impossible to me, also sounds over the moon beyond my wildest dreams. I wouldn't have even thought to ask for two months... but now that it's out there, I'm humbled and amazed at where God might be taking us as a family.

So while I hang the laundry and walk the dog and plan the dinner and fold the clothes, I'm also thinking "We can have the hugest yard sale of all time to raise money and I can sell stuff on ebay and we can pray for supporters who are willing to give over an extended period of time and my kids can see how God provides not only the finances, but the also courage and the community support we will need."

So my brain is working overtime and my heart is full and I am excited.

Who knew that I would be at this stage of my life and be on the edge of so many possibilities?

I never would have expected it.

But I'm thankful for it.

It's a good place to be.

I hope you're all having the loveliest of Mondays.

Smooch you all.

1. I can't believe I've missed the Tuesday Ten so many weeks in a row. It's generally my favorite post to do. But I think I've got my groove on now and we'll be good to go.
2. Of course, all week long, I'm thinking of things that will be great for the 'Ten' post, and then when it's time to post, I can't think of anything at all that's interesting. However, if you spend points 1 & 2 talking about the actual post, then there are are only 8 more things to think of. See? Genius.
3. I got the first of my shots for Africa last week. Typhoid, Hepatitis A & B and Yellow Fever. Ouch. I was pretty wiped out that day - tired and run down... but felt great the next day, so there were obviously no lasting effects. I was nervous, since the literature said one in four people getting the yellow fever shot came down with symptoms - fever, chills, aches... thank goodness I didn't experience that. I go in tomorrow for the second in the Hep series. I'm spending over $300 on shots... which seriously makes me feel like it's going to be impossible for us to ever be able to go as a family... the costs for EVERYTHING related to this trip are about twice what I was expecting. I really have to save my pennies for us to be able to go... and believe that God will provide...
4. Savannah is scheduled to get her braces put on in early November... we had her appointment where we talked through her treatment plan and made the payment schedule... I'm paying for her braces out of my class income - so when you add that to all the Africa related expenses, I'm really pinching my pennies. Ouch.
5. In the spirit of pinching pennies, I had my acrylic nails taken off last week. I've had them on since right before our cruise in May 2007... let's just say my nail beds are in pretty bad shape... and my fingers are back to their original Fred Flintstone stubby-ness. It makes me sad. But that extra $20 every couple weeks is better spent elsewhere, right? I really miss my nails, though. (I know, I'm whining.)
6. I'm still managing to get my laundry hung out on the line. We've had a bit of a resurgence of warm weather after a couple of really cool weeks... I'm so resistant to turning the dryer on after using the clothesline almost exclusively all summer. There's just something about being outside doing the laundry instead of in my dark and scary basement laundry room. Plus, the clothes smell so good. And it's better for the environment, you know. I love my clothesline.
7. We started a small group last Sunday for young couples... we've found lots of young married couples who struggle with finding a place to fit in after they get married, and sensed the need for a group... we had six couples show up. I think it's going to be a great chance for them to build community. I feel like group settings like that are not my forte, but am willing to let God use me in the lives of these women... we'll see how it goes.
8. Kyler got his cross country schedule yesterday... he's got meets every Tuesday and Thursday for four weeks starting in a couple weeks. And of course, I've got classes every Tuesday and Thursday as well. My Tuesdays and Thursdays are going to be just a little busy... but hey - we did it last year, and that was when I was dragging Tejan with his walker to every meet. It should be easy this year, right?
9. School seems to be going well for the kids. I felt like we got a slow start this year... I just wasn't quite ready to send them back, and there were a few bumps in the road in terms of class assignments and friends for Savannah, but I think we've found our groove. It's really hard for me to face the fact that they're all getting so old and this is the last year I'll have two at the elementary school. After this year, we'll be in high school, junior high and elementary... and I feel like things will change dramatically at that point. I sort of just want to keep them all where they are now and stop this crazy thing called time...
10. I can't remember if I mentioned that I reached my Weight Watchers goal a couple of weeks ago. But I did. Now I'm learning to maintain - figuring out how to continue to eat well and not lose more weight... and not gain it back. I'm really determined that this is it... I'm not going to do this again. So it really is going to be a lifestyle... it's hard sometimes, but it feels SO good to be at a healthy weight and be determined to stay there. I want to enter my 40's and beyond equipped to fight middle age spread... and I feel like I am now. Yay!

Happy Tuesday friends. Smooch you all!

I realize I've been a horrible blogger lately.

I've myriad excuses.

• My computer is being exceedingly stupid. There is some nasty pop-up thing that we can't get rid of, and so every time I go to a new site, there's an annoying pop-up window to deal with. My dear husband has tried everything to get rid of it and has finally agreed to take it somewhere. To the geeks who can fix it, wherever they are.
• School started - and so begins the tension between how I dream about spending my time and the way I actually need to spend my time. I feel like I'm never very good at managing this, but particularly at the beginning of the school year.
• I've been busy busy busy with preparations for Africa - sending support letters, getting shots (ouch!) and learning all the important stuff in my training manual like making sure to pack the Immodium. Yay.
• I'm not sleeping. It's been seven nights in a row where I just lie there staring at the ceiling. It's not condusive to good writing, I find. My brain is like a bowl full of mush.

So I've been a bad blogger.

I'll do better, I promise.

Yesterday in the mail I got my training manual for my trip to Africa.

I read through the whole thing last night.

And I'm freaked right out.

I honestly can't believe I'm actually going to do this.

So I'm going to start writing out my fears, and if you're the praying sort, you can start praying. Because if there's one thing I learned when Tejan was here - it's that being prayed for is the best thing in all the world. Especially in the midst of fear and confusion.

So here we go:

• I'm nervous about the hours and hours and hours of travel. I don't sleep well in my own bed. How will I ever sleep on a plane? And how will I ever be effective in Sierra Leone if I arrive totally sleep deprived?
• I'm concerned about getting sick. Travel is never good for my digestive system - and when you add strange diseases and new germs to the mix I'm afraid I'm going to be miserable.
• I'm going with a team of people I've never met (except for one) and I won't meet them until the day we fly out. I won't have Asia to be my social liason. How will I do with these total strangers?
• What in the world do I take on a trip to Africa? Which shoes? Which clothes? Do I take makeup? What will I do with my hair? Am I going to take my contacts along or just wear my glasses the whole time?
• How am I ever going to manage to say goodbye to Tejan again?

This is just the tip of the iceberg.

Frankly, I'm could easily be consumed with fear and doubt. But I don't really want to go there. I want to trust God with all of this... but it's so hard. I couldn't sleep last night while all of these questions ran through my mind...

It's really scary to walk into another venture when I know God will use it to break my heart even further...

So if you're the praying sort...

I simply can hardly believe that I have an 8th grader, a 6th grader and a 3rd grader.

But I do.

Aren't they getting big?

Seems like it was just yesterday I was taking them to their first day of preschool...

We received our first letter from Tejan today:

"Kisses! Kisses! Love! Love!

Dear the Goins family,

How are you doing? I hope you are doing fine and well. I was so blessed to come to your home last summer. Thank you so much for being kind to me, may God bless you all and keep you safe in your daily work. I was so happy to see my brothers and sisters back home. I want you to know that I had a safe trip back to Sierra Leone. I love you all in Christ. Amen.

Hi Aunty Cathy, this is me Tejan. How are you doing? I love you so much and I am doing fine with my exercises. My mouth is opening wide. I am doing my exercise every day and my legs are still ok, thanks be to God.

Please give for me Ethan, Savannah, Kyler, Uncle Asia, Maddie, Maddie's mom and dad, Sydney and her family - give them for me a huge hug. Also greet for me the Arguinchonas, the Tesariks and the Swobodas. Please tell them that I love them all.

Aunty Cathy, I want you to give Ethan and Savannah a very and awesome special hug.

My friends and my brothers and sister and families are sending greetings to you all. And we are all doing fine and well here in Africa, although it is hot.

I've got so many things to tell you but this is all Ican tell you for now. God bless you all in Jesus name. Lots of love and kisses.

Tejan"

So my trip to Sierra Leone is definitely happening.

I go in on Wednesday to get my shots. Yellow Fever. Typhoid. Hepatitis A and B.

Fun.

I can't tell you how settled my heart is, knowing I'll get to see T. in his home.

Having the opportunity to meet his friends and eat his food and see his life is so huge for me.

I'll be there for a full week, with five full days of traveling.

And here's where you come in...

I never imagined I would ever ask you, my faithful blog readers, for anything except comments.

But I have to raise funds to help pay for this trip.

As you can imagine, a plane ticket to Africa is expensive. (Around $2400 expensive...)

I've been saving money since January for our family to be able to go see T. We're still hoping to go in 2009...

But I don't even have enough yet to pay for my own trip. In addition to my plane ticket, I have other expenses to cover as well, so my total for the trip will be around $3500.

So I wanted to give you the opportunity to give.

And hey, it's tax deductible!

If you're interested, I'd love an email from you letting me know.

I'll pop a letter off to you and tell you how you can donate.

And I'm in a bit of a hurry, too. So if you're interested, could you let me know ASAP?

It feels so awkward to ask.

But so many of your were such a huge support to me as I walked through the journey of falling in love with my little boy from Africa... I wanted to give you the chance to support me in a new way.

You can email me at: cathygoestoafrica at q.com.

Thanks, friends.

(And if you can't give or choose not to and you just want to receive prayer letters and requests, let me know that too.)

Smooches!