It really was amazing going running by myself, well, by myself and God. Cause the thing is, every time I run I end up connecting with him. It’s really cool. Once I start running this inner monologue with myself and him starts going. Everything that happens is coming from and connecting to him. It’s amazing when you start focusing in. You become totally aware of sounds, the wind around you, the stars above, every car that passes you, and most of all my rhythmic breathing and my state of energy (as in, “I can’t run anymore… must walk”)

Every time I go I get scared, of people, of dogs, of cars, of houses, or lights, I feel I’m standing out to much and I’m gonna get in trouble, or attacked. I know it’s not a very legitimate fear (or maybe it is), but at the least it brings me closer to God. When the fear sets in I put my trust in him and pray for protection.

It was an amazing experience tonight and at the end I decided I need to do it more.

Being a few days from my 18th birthday I guess it is time for the wish list post. Now I know I haven’t updated in a while, so I’m sorry that this has to be what the post is, but maybe with my 18th birthday will come experience in the area of blogging, and thus create some brilliant posts to come, but I doubt it. Anyway, ON WITH THE LIST!!

-Cash that will go towards licensing my sailboat, parts I need for it, materials for the repair, and towards my membership at the club

-An Mp3 player with 4GBs or more of space (Sansa E260?)

-A Dry Bag for my sailboat (available at boating stores, or sports stores like Joes)

-Disc Golf Discs, or a new bag

-Something creative and original, maybe handmade?

-Fun card games and board games

-A Car

-Lifejackets Adult Universal size

-Time with friends, as in you take me to a movie, or go to coffee, or on a hike. I’d love just hang out time with friends and family if you don’t have cash.

-Other?

My current mood seems to be presenting itself as a wonderfuly mind numbing moment of brilliance. Of course this means that I have to move to my ever faithful blog of which I use the blank pages (or blank screen) of imagination to write my intellect and wit for all the world to see.

Unfortunately just because my mood feels brilliant, or like writing something smart, I really have nothing quite thoughtful to say. Those yearbooks really sucked it out of me.

So instead, I think I shall let you all know that currently I am having a wonderful summer and the highlights are when I get to go sailing. It really is an amazing experience having the breeze in your face and water below, blue sky above, the sun beating down, and your abs getting a workout that is harder than my crazy dance teachers crunch series. I think that the only thing that will make sailing better is when I have my own boat and when I have my friends or family with me on the boat. That will be awesome.

Speaking of me getting a boat, if anyone happens to have any leads on a smaller sailboat I could purchase, or have any spare cash they would willingly donate to my cause, please, let me know! Otherwise, contact me when I get my sailboat to bum a ride! Actually I would love to take you so don’t be shy. Anyway, if I don’t write for a while….I’m probably sailing!

I read this today in a daily email I get from this site. I thought it was really good and had to share it.

“If there is any secret to this life I live, this is it: the sound of what cannot be seen sings within everything that can. & there is nothing more to it than that.”

In other words, though you might not know all my secrets, my whole life is spewing them into the world and can be seen in all the other things I do.

And this is the way life is
stress, worry, depression, and torment,
and yet one must realize there is also
peace, joy, happiness and love.
The question is, will you brave the terrors, for the true meanings of life?

It’s coming to an end; my junior year is. I’ve grown a lot this year, but I don’t feel like life will be any different going into my senior year. I’ve grown really close to some friends, and farther apart from others. One more year and then we will all be going our separate ways. It’s a sad thought. I don’t really want a lot of my friends to leave, I think there is something about high school friendships that just, I don’t know, but it’s a friendship that you can’t ever have the same way after high school. I hate thinking about not seeing some people ever again, but I know that God is there and will help me deal with it.

Prom is in less than a week and I have no date and no idea what to wear. I want to go but then again I don’t really. I wish I was going with someone but it almost seems pointless to go with someone unless it’s the person I want to go with. Life is like that yah know? It’s to late to ask anyone anyway, or that’s what I keep saying to myself. I also keep saying, “give it time, next year, next year” but I don’t know if it will be next year or ever for that matter. Hence why I sit and listen trying to trust in God and his guidance.

I hope I’m listening well.