I have no idea what to do after my senior year. I don’t feel like going to college and incurring debt. I don’t feel like going to college and doing “the norm”. I don’t feel like going to college and “learning” stuff I don’t care about. I just want to get on with my life… Whatever that means. Since I don’t know what I want to do with my life, I will ponder it all through the year until I hit graduation. Hopefully by then I will have come to a conclusion, but, if not, I plan on living all the same.

It really was amazing going running by myself, well, by myself and God. Cause the thing is, every time I run I end up connecting with him. It’s really cool. Once I start running this inner monologue with myself and him starts going. Everything that happens is coming from and connecting to him. It’s amazing when you start focusing in. You become totally aware of sounds, the wind around you, the stars above, every car that passes you, and most of all my rhythmic breathing and my state of energy (as in, “I can’t run anymore… must walk”)

Every time I go I get scared, of people, of dogs, of cars, of houses, or lights, I feel I’m standing out to much and I’m gonna get in trouble, or attacked. I know it’s not a very legitimate fear (or maybe it is), but at the least it brings me closer to God. When the fear sets in I put my trust in him and pray for protection.

It was an amazing experience tonight and at the end I decided I need to do it more.

Being a few days from my 18th birthday I guess it is time for the wish list post. Now I know I haven’t updated in a while, so I’m sorry that this has to be what the post is, but maybe with my 18th birthday will come experience in the area of blogging, and thus create some brilliant posts to come, but I doubt it. Anyway, ON WITH THE LIST!!

-Cash that will go towards licensing my sailboat, parts I need for it, materials for the repair, and towards my membership at the club

-An Mp3 player with 4GBs or more of space (Sansa E260?)

-A Dry Bag for my sailboat (available at boating stores, or sports stores like Joes)

-Disc Golf Discs, or a new bag

-Something creative and original, maybe handmade?

-Fun card games and board games

-A Car

-Lifejackets Adult Universal size

-Time with friends, as in you take me to a movie, or go to coffee, or on a hike. I’d love just hang out time with friends and family if you don’t have cash.

-Other?

My current mood seems to be presenting itself as a wonderfuly mind numbing moment of brilliance. Of course this means that I have to move to my ever faithful blog of which I use the blank pages (or blank screen) of imagination to write my intellect and wit for all the world to see.

Unfortunately just because my mood feels brilliant, or like writing something smart, I really have nothing quite thoughtful to say. Those yearbooks really sucked it out of me.

So instead, I think I shall let you all know that currently I am having a wonderful summer and the highlights are when I get to go sailing. It really is an amazing experience having the breeze in your face and water below, blue sky above, the sun beating down, and your abs getting a workout that is harder than my crazy dance teachers crunch series. I think that the only thing that will make sailing better is when I have my own boat and when I have my friends or family with me on the boat. That will be awesome.

Speaking of me getting a boat, if anyone happens to have any leads on a smaller sailboat I could purchase, or have any spare cash they would willingly donate to my cause, please, let me know! Otherwise, contact me when I get my sailboat to bum a ride! Actually I would love to take you so don’t be shy. Anyway, if I don’t write for a while….I’m probably sailing!

I read this today in a daily email I get from this site. I thought it was really good and had to share it.

“If there is any secret to this life I live, this is it: the sound of what cannot be seen sings within everything that can. & there is nothing more to it than that.”

In other words, though you might not know all my secrets, my whole life is spewing them into the world and can be seen in all the other things I do.